The long term pain in the ass.


For those who suffer from chronic pain, there is absolutely nothing that compares to the feeling of having a pain free moment, minute, hour or day.

It’s that moment when you move in a certain way that makes you feel free, smooth, and agile. It’s that ah-ha moment of joy that bursts from your heart and sends all the happy signals to your brain. The astounding weight on your shoulders that you are so used to carrying is removed and the brain actually begins to function like it used to or better. Space is freed up to think, to feel, and to dream.

Chronic pain is reminder of the small things in life that bring happiness. At the beginning of writing this post I was on an upswing of back health, being positive and trying to add in mini exercises to feel like I was actually doing something. Then overnight I am seized up and bed bound without strong enough pain meds, and just able to make it to the toilet or vertical for 5 minutes.

Yet once the pissed off “sulks” of denial pass, I am an old hand at finding wee happy things. Like inspiring movies, and treating myself to some junk food. To have friends pop by with trashy magazines, and having to tell my husband to stop making me laugh as it’s shearing stabs take my breath away.

It’s watching the sunlight or wind in the leaves, painting my nails crazy colors, and rolling on an unshackled time schedule. Of stoned Iphone scrabble, and a platinum audiobook account that can I plow through on triple speed.

Having a mega flare up once again has put my modified aching normal life into great perspective. At least then I can put on shoes and ride in cars, rather than being a floor mat of that which I seem a professional. Yet even here, I am thankful for a warm house, internet, and loving people in my life.

Here’s a toast to my super hubby, sending me sweet texts and making sure I have all I need. To the caregivers that suffer emotionally along side. This is shout out to other chronic pain people who will hopefully find light in the dark. Here’s to having gratitude, faith in healing with time and many more ah-ha moments.

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